Well, another week out of work because I've been sick AGAIN!! This mess has got to go!! I must take vitamins or something to boost my immune system.

As I sit in my sickbed, I've been wondering...Why do we hesitate so much? Are we so afraid of making a mistake that we wait and wait on confirmation or some sign and end up missing out on the very thing that could be what we were created to do?

What are we so afraid of? If God is as big as I know He is, then can't He put me on the right path if I start on the wrong one? Can't He move me to where I need to be? Do I just need to begin moving in a direction and let Him guide me as I go instead of sitting here waiting and doing nothing???

I'm feeling much better today. Hopefully I will be cleared to return to work Monday. I need to go back. No work = no pay :(

I wonder how I will ever get to the point I need to be to do what I feel God is calling me to. It seems so overwhelming at times. My goal is to be somewhere in the world other than here by the time I'm 50. That gives me 8 years to get my finances in order and see the girls settled in their own places they are called to be.

Oh to be young again, knowing what I know now. I don't think I would be here but would already be on the mission field. What time has been wasted!!! But has it really been wasted? I would not be who I am today if not for the things I've gone through. It is what it is. Time to press toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ.